我是怪人

有时候希望自己的性格不那么极端。

星期四在cfa外面碰到管乐团的负责人。他问我是不是三月演奏会的舞台管理，还关心我那时候是不是不高兴。我觉得我的回答虽然得体，但语调和表情并不如此。因为他唤起我不愉悦的回忆。我在想我是不是压抑太久了，有时候会在不应该的时间对不该被责怪的人发脾气。

无论如何，我越来越喜欢管乐团的练习。虽然巴松玩得不是很好，很多还跟不上，但我还是享受整个过程。最重要的是我觉得我的努力有成果。指挥有acknowledge，也有朋友的鼓励。

而今天的练习我觉得很不自在。那里的人很不友善。但吹奏方面有几位年轻有为的，我这个老人真是觉得长江后浪推前浪。今天我能够玩所有部分，但我并不觉得满足。我的心其实已经动摇了，在想要不要跟他们演出。但我真得很想在滨海艺术中心演奏厅表演。况且我又不是最老的一个，因为有一个人包了那个位子。

休息太久了，开始胡思乱想。

today's practice

i feel quite good after the practice today. i think the lower reeds sounded quite good. excluding me of course. cannot play fast passage. then my solo for fantasia no one heard me lor. very sad. and i'm sorry awan for bayou breakdown. let's practice that part together next tue ok?

i feel quite 'bek chek' for that bailey's piece. many did not play Gb, they played G natural. when change from concert Ab major to concert Db major. please remember got concert Gb this note.

a bit cannot take it for this concert. too exciting. too many fast pieces.

save me!

命宮主星：太陰獨座

太陰獨座 個性特質
優點： 個性謙和, 合群性高
缺點： 缺少自信, 容易悲觀
個性特質是依出生時辰推論的先天命盤而定，先天的個性無善無惡，優點與缺點本來就是一體兩面，端看每個人願不願意調適而已；如何面對自己的缺點，進而改善它，並強化自己的優點，是成功的要務。
太陰獨座 的人格特質
他的個性多愁善感，有點像紅樓夢裡的賈寶玉，愛好文藝而且講究情趣，給人的感覺優雅斯文，對女孩子很有親和力，心思細密而充滿感性。也因為星曜的屬性是平和而寧靜的，他總給人一種安定而溫和的印象。

我像贾宝玉？！

bassoon again

tried the eb contra alto clarinet yesterday. the body is made of Resonite. personally, i don't like the sound as it can't produce the resonance and colour that a Wood clarinet can produce. seriously, the extended bass clarinet sound better than the contra, however, it has lesser notes than contra in the bottom (concert A, Ab, G, Gb).

so now i am playing bassoon again since awan said lt want the bassoon colour. hopefully i can sound decent on thu.

amazed by this guy's ability. http://music.nus.edu.sg/news/060721-01.htm.

going for the clarinet masterclass on thu if no one call me up for interview. http://scmapp.nus.edu.sg/events/details.asp?e_id=233.

i guess after this concert. i am officially a woodwind player. muahahahahahaha.

ok. gone crazy. watch out.

after cnlwe concert going solo

i've been sleeping a lot since cnlwe concert on sat. feeling a little bit depressed and lost (not more band on sunday).

seriously i think the band sounded great in spite of my b grade playing of piccolo and bass clarinet. anyway, i enjoyed playing in this wind ensemble as it has a very inspiring conductor and friendly players. whenever i peform with this band, i can feel the bond that i cannot find in any other band. i can't wait to listen to the recording. want to listen how bad i sounded. :P

thanks for those who came. namely hao xin, yae voon, kok hui, hao yi, rui xiang, derek, joni, khee nguen, phoebe, sharon, puay khee, xianwei, yoke khee, ian, huili, xinhui, kenneth & gaylin. thanks for all the encouragements that you wrote in the card. :D

thanks alison, rui xiang, pheobe, sharon & yoke khee for the choclates. make me fat. hahaha.

looking foward to nusws concert da capo in 7th oct. i will be playing e flat contra alto clarinet. i feel so excited.

today applied a bunch of jobs. hopefully they will get me interviews in near future. mom will be coming to singapore tomorrow. i wonder how she will react when she knows i am not working for 2 weeks.

spirit quite low now after a lousy practice today. hopefully tomorrow's sectional will be good.

pray hard......

希望在明天

今天练习(rehearsal)很可怕。

今天我玩低音单簧管(bass clarinet)和短笛(piccolo)。我觉得低音单簧管的声音有一点虚，应该是3号竹片(reed)的关系，况且没有热身(warm up)。但我觉得某些地方还玩得不错，至少没有什么错音(wrong notes)。短笛最大的弱点是running notes不够even。我认为声音还算可以。

练习过后跟giam和chee koon夜宵。谈了很多关于吹奏声音和技巧的问题，尤其是高音。也讨论了在音乐这个圈子的人和事。差一点大家不回家了！

我希望大家明天在最后的练习能够专注。注意自己和别人的声音是否融合在一起。也请大家都看指挥，安静的听从指示。我要记住！

我早上也应该将乐谱排好。然后练习好自己的部分。

音乐与我

今天算是不错的一天。

昨晚没有什么睡到。应该是长期晚睡导致的吧！多谢ian的morning call。原本要在yih吃西餐，但11点才能够吃，只好吃老曾记。在cfa遇到ho的人，感觉疏远，没有什么交谈。

终于大家都到了。练了philip sparke的postcard from singapore movement iii: lenggang kangkung & munnaeru vaalibaa。和声还算不错，但总觉得不够轻快，带不出乐曲的精神。声部如下：

1 flute (double oboe)
1 clarinet (double 2nd clarinet)
1 alto sax
1 []sax - absent
1 trumpet
1 cornet
2 french horns
1 trombone
1 euphonium
1 tuba
3 percussion (snare drum & glockenspiel & []) - 1 absent

无论如何，我还挺享受这个练习。

傍晚，陪同两位朋友晚餐。其中一位继续贬低管乐团(wind band/orchestra)的价值。我还是跟他辩，我真幼稚！搭巴士回家的时候想通了，玩音乐是陶冶性情，抒发情感的一个管道。挑战不同的曲风才有趣味，何必理会非管乐的人讲什么呢？

期待明天的练习。